Are you serious?

So lately Ive been very busy and not really connected to the out side world. I’m spending all my time with my fiance, which is wonderful just so you’re not mistaken. I haven’t been doing a lot of anything else though. Lots of waking up at like 6pm because I work grave yard shifts. Which makes me more nocturnal than I really want to be. My new job requires me to do and see things that need not be mentioned in most social circles. How should I say it?.. Hmmm.. Im usually “whiped” out after work. I will leave you to ponder that statement. I thought I would throw in a hint so you didn’t think I was a hit man or a vampire. I’m secretive and don’t work in the daylight.

I need to do more creative things. I need to create and feel as if I’m doing something for the world. I have a guitar, but don’t play it, three actually. I’m supposed to be writing a book but have no inspiration to write it now. Its not like I have no inspiration at all, I just think my writing is so random that its hard for me to write consistently about one thing. I havent been reading that much either. Ive been a work slave for the most part. My work schedule has left me in a comatose state.

Im watching continuos coverage of the on going Michael Jackson saga which is literally making me physically sick.

Granted many people do benefit greatly from meds, Just something crazy about the overall distribution. This means you, emo bands.

I caught Larry King’s interview with Jermain (Michaels brother) and was bedazzled by all the magical crap he kept mentioning. It seemed like every time Larry tried to connect with reality, or ask questions that pertained to Micheal’s death, Jermain would shoot back with some sort of Neverland nonsense… Check out 2:41 GAWD!!! Really?

Im not knocking all of the interview, but give me a break Jermain..

The reason I mentioned this is because I am confused. Im confused about how our society works and thinks. We literally worship people who have an image minus charactor. But no lets not admit those things, lets stay comfortably ignorant. Anyways ..if you havent noticed the world as of late is a messed up place and the stench of the 21st century is in my nostrils. I have not been so disturbed, frustrated, angry in a long time… I could not get to sleep. Just thinking about the genoside in Darfur and how we have ignored the fact that thousands of people are dying. Im very confused about the state of humanity. I wake up in the morning and have clean water, my guitar, food in my fridge and a super market down the street. We are too far away to hear the screams of the suffering, and the dying and Im not sure if we want to to be honest.

Hey great America!!! This isnt the age of “change”.. This is the age of indifference.

It reminds me of being at my friends house when I was in grade school listening to him being abused in the other room. Despite the madness I heard muffeld in the other room nothing was ever mentioned, and I never asked. Much like whats happening in our world. There are unspeakable things happening and a deaf ear is being turned to it. We would much rather cry about our celebrities and consider it this huge tragedy, when on the other side of the planet hundreds of thousands of women and children are being raped, murdered, and forced into stravation. Not to mention the sex trade that is happening where children are being forced to have sex with grown men. And this is all taking place right under our noses, in the hidden places of the planet. This is happening in the twenty first century. We have the resources to end this if we deside to let ourselves look at whats really happening.

America is a becon of hope only if it is pointed in the right direction. The media needs you to tell them that millions of refugees in Darfur is more important to you than whether Paris Hilton does this or that. Darfur was bombed again yesterday, why is that not making headlines?

We cannot be silent on the issue… a discourse is needed. It’s a painful conversation, it’s painful to see it on the news… I think the pain is what makes us turn to celebrity gossip or our own preoccupation. But we cannot run from pain. Every great civilization that runs from suffering has begun it’s demise. Look as far back as you want: Babylon, Greece, Rome, or the British Empire, you’ll find that the reason for every great civilizations demise is rooted in it’s attempt to cheat pain. If we’re not careful we will follow quickly down in our self-absorbed disregard towards suffering. We ignore the suffering on the street when we’re in line for an over priced coffee. We ignore the suffering overseas for a cheap pair of sneakers. We try to cheat suffering with technology, with medicine, with economic bandages. But greatness does not come from ignorance of pain. Greatness comes from wrestling with pain, wresting with the injustices of the world. You cannot cheat death. Suffering will find you. Pain will find you. Death will find you. Do not run from suffering, how else could character form?


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