whats love got to do with it?

I always love it when people have nothing to hide. You cant always tell who someone is until you look at the roots of the heart. This world is so impersonal that it’s rare to actually see someone for who they are. There is so much commotion and noise going on that sometimes we cant hear hearts beating. Buildings looming over head, freeways make deafening ambiance. The presence of Corporate America is right outside our door. (Evidence: where is the closest starbucks in your town? There are like ten in Redding) We live in a very independent, entropic, and indifferent culture. It seems very Y2K, very winner of American idol. And maybe brushing against a persons coat while walking down a hall way can be the only time you see that person for weeks. Its sad, but its a rare occasion to stop and get to know someone, not just knowing what their favorite color is. Or, just knowing where they are from. I mean the real stuff, like dreams and deep desires of the heart. I was driving the other day, and I saw this amazing sunset spearing through the clouds. I had to stop and appreciate it, and make note that I was still alive. I think people are like that. I think its very important to stop and admire the beauty in someone.

Yesterday I was in a grocery store when I stumbled upon the magazine section. What I came to find was an endless library of magazines full of ridiculous subject matter. Like ; “how to please your man,” or “hot steamy tips to make your man wild” (I don’t think they are for women to be honest, I know because Ive NEVER seen a women stand there for a whole hour reading these magazines ). As I looked deeper into this I found a common theme with ALL the magazines. The word SEX is HUGE on every magazine with no exception.

I just wanna know whats going on. It seems like the Kingdom of the crystal dull. Every day I turn on the TV (usually at work) and I find myself confused at what is happening. Art isn’t art anymore, just a trend, clicheic language reverberating through my cranium such as; Bling, Club, pimp, crunk.. I can go on and on but I will spare you. No Really… what I want to talk you about has nothing to do with bad rap. I want to talk about LOVE, yes… Probably the most misunderstood word in your language. We are so desperate to find it that we will try to get it no matter the cost. You see it on billboards, TV adds, game shows, reality shows.. you name it. It seems like love is something we want to win rather than earn and cultivate, something to exploit rather than protect. True love seems to be a rare creature these days, and finding someone to love you back seems to be even more tricky. When someone finally finds Mr or Mrs “right” it can be really hard to accept their love because of years of rejection, or from being off the market for so long. Being single can be easy because of the level of independence that goes along with it, but to be validated by someone is something every human needs.

After years (literally) of searching Ive finally found the women I want to spend the rest of my life with.Karyn. She is amazing!!!! I can share anything with her and feel safe and vulnerable. Is nothing that I won or something I was handed. We made a choice to. It was hard because we didn’t even like each other at first, but I went after her. There were a lot of very awkward moments, and we could have quit all together, but we persisted and saw potential. In a way I’m glad I was single for such a long time because it gave me time to find out who I am. I feel this is important because identity and knowing who you are is a important to function in a relationship. You’re not only supporting yourself you’re also reassuring and supporting another persons identity and emotions. Love isn’t a feeling (it can be very emotional) or a thing you learn while watching a reality show or a soap opera. love is a choice. Sadly the world we live in paints an inaccurate picture of love. Love isn’t always emotional or a fairy tale its something you build on and something you need to work on for a life time.

Having said all that, I think I should say that we do have the fire works, I’m only saying the foundation of our love Isn’t necessarily all the ooy gooy stuff. It Isn’t hard for us to establish romance and chemistry when we are together. Actually we can get quite sickening. I never thought I would do this, but we have little pet names for each other. There’s the classics, such as: Babe, baby, honey etc. -Ahem- then there’s those inside joke names that piss everyone off who isn’t in the inner circle. It gets a lot more interesting…. well I’m not going to go there for your sake. Its really easy for me to love Karyn, its like breathing. Its easy to give to her and shes not a chore for me at all, its a natural thing for me to love and give to her. I love her and always will …

..and I plan on choosing to love her every day..

~ by johnlinnell on March 13, 2009.