Im so gld I was born

Hey friends!

Hello to you. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything here on the himynameisjohnandiblogsite.com. I haven’t had it in me. You know, sometimes you’re right in the middle of existence and you need to step back and get some perspective. I’m sitting outside of Starbucks right now and I just wanted to take a moment to share some exciting things with you. I have seen some beautiful things in the course of two months , and have experienced some things that are too wonderful for me to understand. I have waited until now to share because I think I have some perspective on it now. I have heard and experienced stories of redemption, witnessed physical healings, and financial miracles. I have also been privileged to experience unprecedented growth in my life. I am humbled and overjoyed to share more of my story firsthand. First off I’m writing a fictional book about a misunderstood teenager  who achieves greatness despite the negative voices of every day life. I’m also planning on finishing a book of poetry I have been considering for a couple years now intentively titled “The dash on the tomb stone”. Its a compilation of journals that I’ve kept through the different seasons in my life. The title means; The dash between our date of birth, and date of death  is more important then the two ends. It is my hope to provide you with a tangible example of the redemption in my life that you may be encouraged to find it in your own story. My desire is to be transparent, as ugly and awkward as it may be, from the darkest of corners to the most beautiful parts, and everything in between. I hope that by giving you this piece of my heart you might be inspired, enlightened, and comforted in each of your journeys, knowing that you do not travel alone. I fiercely believe that there is nothing that cannot be redeemed and that the fight for it is worth it. Secrets keep us sick. This is my attempt to shed light on the dark, that it may no longer have power, and defuse the lie that our burdens should be kept silent. I would encourage you to write, to speak, to dream, to fight for truth and healing in your own lives. It is my hope to be able to communicate with you as long as I have a voice to whisper, a lucid mind, and a steady hand to hold a pen. The writing process is so different lately. It seems lately that I have bigger ambitions then before. I’ve been using the word “Epic” a lot. The word means; heroic, majestic, or impressively great. It speaks great volumes to me because thats exactly what I’m called to. Greatness. I want to do something “Epic”, something grand. Something that cant be ignored. I want to change the planet and do things no one has ever done before. I feel like I have a vision, and I have so much to say so much to learn and, so many things to do. I want more than cash can buy. Inspiration has been haunting me in my sleep. Ideas constantly walk around in circles in my head. I think writing is so amazing because its comfort in numbers, because how can I feel weird about not knowing the answers when everyone else doesn’t either. Sometimes my writing comes from a sleepless and restless mind filled with totally unrelated thoughts. I get comments from people like; “that’s what I was thinking, but couldn’t express it.” I think its great when people adopt my writings as their own thoughts. So my life long ambition is to write, sing, provoke   thought, and point people to God. Its my opinion that we need to read more, learn more, and watch TV less. The world is very “winner of American Idol,” and somewhat trendy. We all need the quiet streams in our lives to take us back to who we were created to be. (I just made that up, not sure what it means, let me let the paint poor out waistfully)

There are few moments in a day when you get to just sit back and reflect on the day, and when you actually get to just basque in sweet ambiance. They can seem few and far between. As we contemplate our existence sometimes we can forget to be students of life, or more importantly; To stop and listen. It comes in many forms; a breathtaking sunset, driving down a quiet freeway, or even while doing laundry. When I do laundry it makes me wait, and I hate waiting, but while I’m waiting I usually get the best ideas. Today was an exquisite day. For once I got to stop and feel amazing peace. The last couple months have been pretty crazy, and overwhelming at times. I’m going to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry this year, and there are around seven hundred students this year. On top of going to school for twenty hours a week, I’ve also been working thirty hours a week. So being able to sit in silence is sometimes worth more than gold. Everything is good though. I really feel like I am looking across the landscape of my life and feeling absolutely breathless (in a good way). Its almost the same sensation as climbing a mountain and breathing the best air that lye’s at the top. Everything seems so radiant and vibrant to me at this point in life. I’m breathing. I can only thank God for my life,and am very very excited about the future. Tonight I was pumping gas in between school and work when I realized I was the only soul around. The gas station was completely empty. It was kind of weird, but nice.I just stood there for a while. As I was standing there in the quiet God spoke to me. He said; “The plans I have for your life will not be hindered” Out of nowhere this reassurance of Gods faithfulness rushed all over my body. It was cool because this whole week I’ve been kind of disappointed in myself because I haven’t felt very responsible lately. Sometimes I forget that God is never mad at me, and I don’t need to hide from him when I feel dumb. Its so weird because sometimes I feel ignored and not really noticed, but in the last couple months I’ve realized how much of a lie that is. I was chatting with this girl the other day and she was saying how she felt ignored and how she feels unnoticed by people. It was really weird to hear her say that because to me she seemed like the kind of person that made the room light up when she walked in. Very colorful and magnetic. It struck me funny when she said that because I didn’t understand how she could believe that about herself. I reassured her that it wasn’t true, and told her of how I felt the same way at times. Here’s the thing; the enemy wants us to think we are the only one experiencing these kinds of feelings so he can condemn and accuse us in seclusion. Its funny because ever since then Ive been getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex, which isn’t totally foreign to me to be honest. But its weird how we can build our own realities by having the wrong perspective on who we are, and who God made us to be. Oh ….you should watch this video. Its so Epic.

~ by johnlinnell on November 23, 2008.