He was Bad.

I know I was shocked just as much as anyone when Michael Jackson died. It’s that cliche situation where you knew exactly where you were and what you where doing when you heard the news about his passing. It’s an indent in history when your whole world stops for just a moment and you are glued to the TV for literally hours. There are only a handful of people who are so culturally influential that everything changes when they are gone. I can’t think of many people who can pull off being so famous and infamous in one lifetime. We literally watched Michael grow up, get acne, hear his voice change, and see the progression of his surgically altered face. It seemed like it didn’t matter how creepy or weird Michael got, to us he was always that cute kid on the screen. Even though his songs dealt with adult subject matter he had us convinced he knew what he was singing about. It never seemed to matter what he got himself into or how deteriorated his face got, our hearts were stolen the minute he walked into our lives. We will surely miss Michael and what he brought to our world.

When I was a kid I would dance on the coffee table desperately trying to keep up with Michael. I would stare at his feet and try to do what he did. I also remember doing the moonwalk across our kitchen linoleum in my socks. Michael not only dominated, he literally changed everything when it came to music. Every single artist who has ever made a music video needs to thank Michael for paving the way. Back in the early 80’s no one was dancing like Michael. Today you see every Hip Hop and R&B artist incorporating urban-style choreographed gang dancing in their live shows. In almost west side story style. No one was doing that before Michael.

I don’t know if Michael was into Broadway or not, but I see a lot of Broadway influences in these videos. Not only was he a great dancer, but he scared the hell out of me when he turned into a zombie. Horrifically prophetic.

I think what helped Thriller be the greatest album of all time was how well it was marketed. The first single, “The Girl Is Mine” (guest appearance by Paul McCartney) was released a few months before the album, and the album was appropriately released a few days before Halloween. Not to mention every single was released with a short film which was on regular circulation on MTV. Huge exposure. Pure Genius.. Its my opinion the album alone wouldn’t have been as big with out these aspects. The album was more than big. It is the most influential and the best marketed and produced piece of material that we have ever seen. Oh, and winning eight Grammys in one night probably didn’t hurt either.

We will miss you Michael.. thanks for the music..

So…

So I’m actually writing a book of my own. I still read other peoples stuff but now I get to say “hey I’m writing a book” to strangers. This is bound to help me boost some confidence levels for me a bit. It will also give me a chance to write about something serious for a change, not the typical; “Hey your dumb if you like American idol.” spiel, which maybe by now might seem typical for me. Now I get to build something up rather than playing the bully.

Oh yeah and I still hate American Idol, but I love my fiance.

Ho ooh ooh… shes getting a wedding dress today, so that makes me like the happiest man ever.

chow…

The Ettiquitte; driving

So, I need to warn you right out the gate;
This blog is full of pure frustration and probably wont help you, and might even waste your time.
There. So if you’re still reading you cant complain. K?

I don’t get scared very easy. I don’t watch horror flicks or get my kicks out of urinating on my self involuntarily. They aren’t scary just plain dumb says I. I always know when leather face is going to jump out and stab unsuspecting defenseless unrealistically beautiful actress. Hey, ware more clothes especially when said villain might be lurking around any corner. You know he will jump out when it gets all Eire and quiet (what am I talking about over here?)Though I do like it when Karyn grabs me during the scary parts. Anyways.. for the most part I’m solid and if my fiance needs me to kill a spider I will kill without an ounce of fear.

Today I was driving around town, which can be, for lack of a better word TERRIFYING!! And I was rudely reminded of my responsibility to at least this corner of the universe. “And what responsibility is that,” you ask?

Well, obviously my responsibility to spread the word on how to behave. Pretty simple, really.

There is always (we will refer to him as “that guy”) that guy who in sists on not using any signals while swerving in and out of traffic with guns and roses playing. But its ten times more terrifying when you make eye contact with him and discover he is on his cell phone. I can honestly say Ive never been “that guy.” What I mean is; I’m not stupid or a jerk when I drive. It is my opinion that a persons personality is magnetized ten fold when one gets into vehicle. What I mean by that is if you are “that guy” everyone will notice because everyone’s time and safety hang in the balance.

Redding is a very strange place to drive in. Not only is there old people everywhere, but there is construction literally EVERYWHERE.. I don’t know whats going on. But I know; “If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.” <—- Die Hard

See I told you, waste of time.

The christain medium

I’ve been feeling some pressure.
“Not enough writing.”
“Not enough cutting edge journalism.”
“Not enough of your keen and razor-sharp wit these days, old man.”
No one has actually said these things to my face, but I can feel them circulating the universe. Plus: I keep getting bloody noses, so that means someone is definitely putting these thoughts up in the air, causing them to land in my subconscious like grenades of scorn.

Is it because there is nothing to write about? The answer is No: There is oodles to write about.. Speaking of which I’m engaged ..and if you didn’t know you’re not paying attention.. so there.

There’s been alot of ideas and questions sloshing around in my head and I haven’t had a chance to just write them down, and if I don’t do it now they will just vanish into oblivion.

I want to address some issues I have seen and heard on a daily basis for years. LITERALLY. While the issues is fresh on my mind I want to attack it here. The question is ________ artist a christian? (insert band name, painter, writer, etc) And can one be a christian but be on a secular music label? Let me ask you this; is there such thing as a christian taxi driver, mortician, plumber, carpenter? AND if so does the importance lye on the messenger/artist or the medium of what is expressed? My point is; if you’re a “christian” carpenter and the roof falls in on a family of four because you were to lazy to do the job the right way will it matter if you were a christian or not?

Throughout my upbringing Ive always been taught to do my work unto the Lord. I believe this literally applies to the actual product one puts their hands to. Also excellence reflects who you are and where your values lye. Can an atheist be a great carpenter? Yes. And will the work he lays his hands to reflect his atheistic views? That depends on the recipient. And if it does reflect his views then the medium in of itself is the vehicle of persuasion. Also the value system backing it is more apt to be embraced.

Bad art is bad art, and a bad roofing job is a bad roofing job. It doesn’t matter if you are a christian or not. And If christian art sucks (I’m not saying all of it does) than what does that say about us, or more importantly our creator? Bad art is obviously not an accurate reflection of our Lord. I believe God isn’t and never has been able to stay in a box. God can use what ever tool he wants. To say someone cant be used to glorify God just because he or she isn’t on a christian band Is stupid. Its a mission field. Just like where ever you happen to work. Are you still a christian if you work at Starbucks? (which happens to not be a christian company) Its my opinion this kind of ignorance might even be similar to the spark that started slavery. Ignorance gone unchecked and excepted in christian circles has caused the church to retreat from expression and influence,thus causing bands like the Beatles cries for “help” to fall on deaf ears. in my experience the greatest spiritual experience I’ve ever had while listening to music has not been inexplicably “christian.” I believe the purpose of art is to cause the recipient/listener/reader to wrestle with ideas of existence, pain, failure, loss, love, regret, faith etc.. causing the scale to turn inward.

If you look at the music of today you will find certain “christian” bands headlining “non christian” music festivals like; Warped tour, Ozzfest, and others I cant think of. This list includes and is not limited to; Under Oath, As I Lay Dying, Norma Jean, The Chariot, Mxpx, and others I cant think of.

Jesus said to shine our light, and what is a greater place then to the above festivals? And where are you going to find a better platform than to play in front of a demon filled mob?

Love happens…

I am embarking on a journey of a life time. You know the saying “its about the journey not the destination?” Well who ever said this little phrase was very astute. This season has been different than any season Ive ever experienced. I feel as if I am standing on the top of a mountain and I am breathing the best air that lye’s at the top, euphoric, peaceful while still knowing challenges are still a reality. But the challenges aren’t so scary because the same inspiration that got you to the top are the same inspirations you get to pack with you on the journey. There are always bumps in the road, but these are nothing compared to that which is ahead. The prize.

I got engaged. Karyn is so amazing in every way a woman could be. She was waiting for a man to capture and win her heart….. and that man is me. I’m so happy!!. Shes beautiful, intelligent, tender, understanding, excepting, passionate about me, and her love is always alive. Some times hiding or waiting for me to draw it out, and other times radiant and blooming on the surface. I never get to stop perusing her even after Ive captured her heart. I don’t want to stop either. Occasionally we get lost in translation, but we always come back to rediscovering each other even if I’m speaking in rhythm, and shes speaking in codes. Our hearts always come back to the foundations of our relationship…

and that is;… Love.

We love each other so much, and it goes to show you that when you truly love someone its never a chore, and when it happens it is something worth waiting for.

Love happens..

I love her heart.

I’m sooo happy and it will only get better:)

whats love got to do with it?

I always love it when people have nothing to hide. You cant always tell who someone is until you look at the roots of the heart. This world is so impersonal that it’s rare to actually see someone for who they are. There is so much commotion and noise going on that sometimes we cant hear hearts beating. Buildings looming over head, freeways make deafening ambiance. The presence of Corporate America is right outside our door. (Evidence: where is the closest starbucks in your town? There are like ten in Redding) We live in a very independent, entropic, and indifferent culture. It seems very Y2K, very winner of American idol. And maybe brushing against a persons coat while walking down a hall way can be the only time you see that person for weeks. Its sad, but its a rare occasion to stop and get to know someone, not just knowing what their favorite color is. Or, just knowing where they are from. I mean the real stuff, like dreams and deep desires of the heart. I was driving the other day, and I saw this amazing sunset spearing through the clouds. I had to stop and appreciate it, and make note that I was still alive. I think people are like that. I think its very important to stop and admire the beauty in someone.

Yesterday I was in a grocery store when I stumbled upon the magazine section. What I came to find was an endless library of magazines full of ridiculous subject matter. Like ; “how to please your man,” or “hot steamy tips to make your man wild” (I don’t think they are for women to be honest, I know because Ive NEVER seen a women stand there for a whole hour reading these magazines ). As I looked deeper into this I found a common theme with ALL the magazines. The word SEX is HUGE on every magazine with no exception.

I just wanna know whats going on. It seems like the Kingdom of the crystal dull. Every day I turn on the TV (usually at work) and I find myself confused at what is happening. Art isn’t art anymore, just a trend, clicheic language reverberating through my cranium such as; Bling, Club, pimp, crunk.. I can go on and on but I will spare you. No Really… what I want to talk you about has nothing to do with bad rap. I want to talk about LOVE, yes… Probably the most misunderstood word in your language. We are so desperate to find it that we will try to get it no matter the cost. You see it on billboards, TV adds, game shows, reality shows.. you name it. It seems like love is something we want to win rather than earn and cultivate, something to exploit rather than protect. True love seems to be a rare creature these days, and finding someone to love you back seems to be even more tricky. When someone finally finds Mr or Mrs “right” it can be really hard to accept their love because of years of rejection, or from being off the market for so long. Being single can be easy because of the level of independence that goes along with it, but to be validated by someone is something every human needs.

After years (literally) of searching Ive finally found the women I want to spend the rest of my life with.Karyn. She is amazing!!!! I can share anything with her and feel safe and vulnerable. Is nothing that I won or something I was handed. We made a choice to. It was hard because we didn’t even like each other at first, but I went after her. There were a lot of very awkward moments, and we could have quit all together, but we persisted and saw potential. In a way I’m glad I was single for such a long time because it gave me time to find out who I am. I feel this is important because identity and knowing who you are is a important to function in a relationship. You’re not only supporting yourself you’re also reassuring and supporting another persons identity and emotions. Love isn’t a feeling (it can be very emotional) or a thing you learn while watching a reality show or a soap opera. love is a choice. Sadly the world we live in paints an inaccurate picture of love. Love isn’t always emotional or a fairy tale its something you build on and something you need to work on for a life time.

Having said all that, I think I should say that we do have the fire works, I’m only saying the foundation of our love Isn’t necessarily all the ooy gooy stuff. It Isn’t hard for us to establish romance and chemistry when we are together. Actually we can get quite sickening. I never thought I would do this, but we have little pet names for each other. There’s the classics, such as: Babe, baby, honey etc. -Ahem- then there’s those inside joke names that piss everyone off who isn’t in the inner circle. It gets a lot more interesting…. well I’m not going to go there for your sake. Its really easy for me to love Karyn, its like breathing. Its easy to give to her and shes not a chore for me at all, its a natural thing for me to love and give to her. I love her and always will …

..and I plan on choosing to love her every day..

an amazing life

I want to apologize for not writing a blog in awhile, Ive been busy with life and love. A few amazing things have happened to me that have been life changing in their own right. First off I’m going to Bethel school of supernatural ministry (I know a mouth full.. or BSSM for you lazy people) which has been flipping amazing. I have experienced so much personal freedom I could write a book about it, and probably will. There have also been some other things that might freak you out, oh lets just say I can see angels and feel them on my skin. And sometimes they show up in my room and say stuff. Still wanna read my blog after that? Well hold on to you pants before you decide I’m a loon. Apart from seeing angels and all that jazz I’m experiencing the presence of God more than I have in my entire life. My whole life I’ve been praying for things in my life to happen and it would just seem like it wasn’t the timing. I feel as if my life is changing in dramatic fashion, I mean two weeks ago I was looking around for my future wife and suddenly there she is sitting next to me, on the phone, holding my hand. It seems so fast and wonderful. Wow. Its crazy when you try to find perspective on it, to be honest Im enjoying being lost in love. Its like being on a mountain and looking at the landscape below and wondering whats down there and having the perspective of an explorer, not knowing what you will find, and where you will find it. I found the woman I want to marry and she is more than I ever asked for. I cant believe I found her. I enjoy every second I spend with her and the rest is history. She didn’t even like me, but I perused the snot out of her (I didn’t know what I was doing) and she discovered the real me. There is still a lot to discover, for me and for her. I’m having fun finding the treasures buried deep in her. Last night we had a lot of fun at her parents house. We watched a movie and ate dinner.While her parents were in the kitchen we danced in the living room sloppily, but that made it that much more fun. I love to be silly with her.We’re crazy about each other.

So for all you perspective husbands; if you love her than go after her.. She is a treasure and she is worth chasing. The man who gets her is blessed.

an old fashioned stave

Twas the night…
Your foot steps tapped ever so lightly
On my door step
And to open with such delight.
So inviting and transparent
You danced across my heart shaped living room.
The room lingering with the smell of wine and all that fashion.
I have retired from throwing rocks at your window.
I have your attention and gaze.
Yet, other men must wish you were for the taking.
Mere men drop like fly’s at your beauty….

Ok if you haven’t heard “I have a girl friend.” Yes, folks its true and let me tell ya, she is amazing. Let me tell you about her, shes beautiful, artistic, funny, kind, caring, intelligent, strong, spiritual, confident, and many other things. So shes pretty much AMAZING!!!! I want to shout it from a mountain.. Anyways, shes a breath of fresh air to me and Ive never met another women like her. Hands down. I never expected to find such jewel like her. I could go on and on and on about her,

Karyn

I have the most amazing girl friend on the planet. She is the woman of my dreams. We were hanging out off and on for a year or so and tonight we finally decided to make it official. We drove to a friends house tonight and got lost like ten times. We laughed so hard together, and I’m glad I got lost with her. When I look into her eyes I’m lost. She doesn’t want to kiss until we get married and I want to honor that with all of my being, Even though I want to really, really bad. I have no words for how happy I feel when I’m with her. She is amazing…